Shower time for the short sighted needs to run on rails. Once my specs are off I regard myself as virtually blind – especially at that time of the morning – and the stuff I need has to be in predictable places. Sponge, shower gel, towel... This morning I found myself, wet and blind, with no shower gel. Bugger. So out of the shower I got, dripping water onto the bathroom floor, scrabbling around like Mr Magoo in the cabinet where further supplies are usually located.
The problem is that there are females in the house. Daughter is away at university (and I have enjoyed seeing the resulting expanse of vacant flat surfaces in the bathroom that this has created) but much of that which would be out on display when she is in residence has been put away for safekeeping in the cupboard where the shower gel usually lives so there’s more to hunt through in there than one might expect. I found shampoo, body butter, facial scrub, handwash (that would do wouldn’t it?) moisturiser, hand cream, conditioner, suncream, after sun... I sensed the trail going cold. Second cupboard then; baby powder, baby lotion (er...) crème bath, bath foam, anti-perspirant, deodorant, insect repellent, bite ease... trail going cold again.
There’s always that intriguing bar of fruit soap of course, but it’s new, unopened and seems to have been made by English Heritage. For all I know I might be earmarked as a Christmas present for someone we don’t like. Besides, I don’t really want to go to work smelling like synthetic mulled wine...
There was only one thing left to do and that was resort to the final cupboard to where all the mini shower gels and shampoos migrate; collected from hotel and B&B stays but never actually finished. Here there was an assortment of sponges and other body scrubbing devices but buried at the bottom was indeed a selection mini bathroom products. Mostly shampoo and conditioner only of course, so still no joy.
Eventually I located a part-used mini shower gel which at least solved the immediate problem. I then made sure that I put it back afterwards though so that the missus, who would surely face the same challenge in an hour or so, would automatically unearth the secret stash of shower gel which surely exists somewhere but I was unable to locate. She’s efficient you see, so we won’t have run out, it’s just that I couldn’t find what I needed when I needed it. Hmmm, maybe we have run out?
Domestic wine racks are like this. You thought there was a bottle of fizz in there for Christmas morning but when you went to pop it in the fridge on Christmas Eve it wasn’t there. Had you already drunk it? Had you taken it to that party last month and forgotten to replace it? And what about some decent wine? A quick check through the rack reveals some stuff you like but don’t think it quite good enough for the occasion concerned. Then there are the bottles that guests have brought for you which you’ve not yet been brave enough to open... Did they spend time choosing these especially for you, or were they the free bit of the latest Dine In for £10 deal which they didn’t fancy either? There’s the better stuff at the bottom of course, but is it ready yet? Or is it already too old? There does seem to be a growing selection of “bottles to cook with” and it’s Christmas for goodness sake. These really won’t do!
It doesn’t have to be this way you know. Just get organised. Lay in some decent bottles and make sure you label them so they don’t get drunk by the rampaging hoards of returning university students... Check stocks regularly and, crucially, allow yourself the enjoyment of a really good tidy up from time to time when you can open those bottles that you think might be too old and occasionally come across one that isn’t and is really surprisingly good. Free up space for some new acquisitions and pat yourself on the back for a job well done. Then you’ll have what you need, when you need it. Once you’ve done that you can chuck out all those part used jars of body butter and bath creme from the bathroom. If you’re brave enough!